Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Life, our plans, and God's own time.

LK recently posted something that resonated with me about love and marriage and finding "Mr. Right". The ladies who commented made some very good points -- I particularly enjoyed yours, Caraboska.

I had to laugh a little. Not AT you, dear LK. More at myself and the world at large. I've felt like that more and more often, especially as my friends from school back home have gotten bachelor's degrees and gotten married at 23 or 24 (or younger) and had kids (not necessarily in that order, of course). And where am I? Only got an associate's degree, have been out of school for nearly 6 years now, had a rather disastrous first enlistment, and got sucked back into Uncle Sam's unrelenting grasp for a lil' bit more Army - because the first ride on the merry-go-round didn't suck enough. : P

I'm also something of a disaster when it comes to romantic relationships. The last one was so much like my dad and was the biggest epic fail thus far. I thought to myself "Oh crap. I DO NOT want to be with a guy who is a control freak jerk like my dad." I know God doesn't want that for me, either. I was just trying to get God to work at my pace, rather than waiting on God like I should've, and that was a mistake. I got burned for it, but I learned from it. You can bet your last Coke that I won't be falling for any sweet talk from control freak users again. >:D

I know God has my guy waiting in the wings somewhere. God has His own plans and does things in His own time. What good comes of me trying to hurry the process along? All I've ever gotten as a result was a broken heart and bitter feelings.

So, I need to continue working on being patient in the hubby aspect of life. It is frustrating to see kids (my friends got married a few months ago at the ripe old ages of 21 and 22) being able to maintain relationships and getting married when I can't even keep a boyfriend who is actually invested in the relationship as much as I am for more than a few months at a time. How can you be that confident in another person, especially that young?

Whether God intends for me to marry or not, I'm going to live my life. I'm going to have experiences from the wild and unpredictable (this deployment) to the everyday (finding a book I didn't know I wanted at the used book store -- ha ha!) and learn and grow from all of them. I'm going to continue to cultivate my own interests, happiness, identity, and financial and career success independent of any other person.

Most of all, I'm going to take being single not as a mark against me ("What's wrong with HER that she's not married at almost 27?"), but as a wonderful and beautiful gift that gives me the opportunity to get closer to God. He is the Provider, the best of Planners, the most Loving, Compassionate, and Merciful Father. No man or woman on Earth can compare to Him!

(Sorry this turned into such a ramble. It's late and I need to get to sleep! Another long day tomorrow... le sigh.)


  1. LOL of course Heather you're right but its still not fun! I know that God has plans of course, I just don't want to wait for them >_<

    People also need to stop being so pushy! "You're 26, why don't you have a boyfriend?" Its totally not by choice I tell you that lol. The world makes us feel like we are over the hill because everyone else is married. I just wanted to get married young enough to enjoy my husband and then maybe have kids. Well I might get at least one of the two (probably won't have kids). But thats ok, I guess. I'm still coming to terms with it.

  2. Definitely take your time and focus on the important things! It's weird that you guys are going through that because here there wouldn't be any judgement on a person who is not married (well, people rarely get married) or in a serious relationship at 26! At least not among the people I know...

  3. salam from malaysia.

    may Allah showered His blessing to u until d no-end-of life.. hereafter :)

  4. Hi.. Great post!.. ( I think its normal go through this, every woman does until she meets the right one and gets married!)I wish for you that God will send you a decent Husband that will look after you Insha'Allah.

    I've been following your blog for a while and so far I've liked what I've read Masha'Allah.

    I am not sure if you are a christian, but I will take my chances. I want you to see this link on my blog.

    Please note, that Allah in arabic means The-God meaning no Plural (Gods) only one.

    I pray that Allah swt opens your heart to Islam and guides you to this beautiful faith.

    Let me know if you have any Questions